He’s dead.
What? What do you mean he’s dead? He can’t be. We have been praying. Everybody has been praying.
This can’t be. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He is called. He is anointed. He was one of the original disciples: handpicked by Jesus. He’s one of the sons of thunder – James and John the sons of Zebedee.
No! This is wrong!
Why would God let this happen?
The very next verse in Acts 12 Peter is arrested as well. I am sure the church was thinking, “Not again. James was already executed, now it’s Peter’s turn.”
What happens next is a very different story from James’ story. An angel turns up in prison with Peter. There is a bright light, Peter gets woken up and his chains fall off his wrists. The angel then busts Peter out of prison. He escorts him right past two guards, the iron gates miraculously open right in front of them, the angel leads Peter up the street into freedom, and then disappears.
Peter shows up at the church prayer meeting to let everyone know he is free. They don’t believe it. He relays the miraculous story of God’s goodness, and then goes into hiding.
Two disciples – two different stories. Both were chosen by Jesus. Both were loved by Jesus. Both were loved by the church. Both were walking with Jesus in the epic adventure of the Kingdom. Both loved Jesus. They were very similar in many respects, but both suffered very different fates.
Peter experienced what we all hope and pray would happen in every difficult situation: God miraculously comes through and makes it all right. Yes! That’s the way God is supposed to move. Miraculously, powerfully, completely, quickly – everything we want to see and experience.
James, on the other hand, is exactly what we don’t want to see. No miracle. No divine deliverance. No angelic visitation. He’s dead. Where is God in the midst of this? What went wrong?
Why?
Why is James dead and Peter delivered? Did Jesus love Peter more? Did the church not pray enough for James? Did James not have as much faith as Peter?
We don’t know.
And that’s just it – we don’t know. We may never know the answer to questions like this until we can sit down with Jesus in heaven. “Why?” is not a helpful question to ask in the midst of difficult or tragic situations. Asking “why?” can keep us trapped in an unsurrendered heart. It can keep us trapped in pride, demanding an answer from the Lord, and, therefore, missing the grace of God.
Why did my mom have to die when I was 9 years old? I don’t know.
Why did our friend have to die of cancer when we had been diligently praying for him for months? I don’t know.
Why didn’t I get that job that was perfect for me? I don’t know.
Why isn’t our office selling and is now causing a heavy financial burden to us? I don’t know?
Demanding to know “why?” insulates us from the grace of God. A truly surrendered heart does not demand or need to know why. A surrendered heart asks different questions,
“Lord, what do you want to say to me in this situation?” “Lord, what do you want to teach me in this situation?” “Lord, this really hurts. Please help me to find your heart in the midst of the pain.” “Lord, I am really angry at you right now. Please help me to find you in the pain and brokenness. Help me to trust you.”
Insisting on knowing why inhibits healing. Surrendering our need to know why releases the grace of God we need for our healing.
I have no doubt that many of the believers in the early church had to get hold of this truth when they lived through James’ execution and Peter’s extrication.
You may find yourself in the midst of a very difficult situation and trapped in the need to know why. Surrender your “why?” to Jesus and receive the grace of God you need to make it through to discover God’s heart.
His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts. He is God and we are not. Surrender your “why?” to His sovereignty.
Isaiah 55:8, 9
“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’”
2 Corinthians 12:9a
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Acts 12:2, 3, 6, 7
“He had James, the brother of John, put to death with the sword. When he saw that this met with approval among the Jews, he proceeded to seize Peter also… The night before Herod was to bring him to trial, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains, and sentries stood guard at the entrance. Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. “Quick, get up!” he said, and the chains fell off Peter’s wrists.”