“Ok, I’ll come by your house at 3:00?”
“Ahhh, sure. No wait, come by at 3:30.”
“What’s up?”
“I have to move our washing machine.”
“Well, I’ll give you a hand.”
“No, don’t worry about it. Cheryl and I can do it, come by at 3:30.”
I pushed a little more about helping out, but my buddy insisted that he and “Cheryl” (not her real name) could move the washing machine themselves. When I arrived at their house his wife opened the door with a look on her face I had never seen before. It was a combination of “I want to kill Gerry right now” (not his real name), “I can’t believe I married a man this stupid” and “I told him to let you help out, but would he listen to me? No…”
She never said a word. She simply turned and beckoned me to follow, then pointed down the basement stairs to where their washing machine was embedded into the wall of the landing halfway down the stairs.
It didn’t take long to piece together the sequence of events: They were moving their washing machine from the basement to the main floor. They successfully navigated the first flight of stairs onto the landing, turned, then got halfway up the second flight of stairs when something went horribly wrong. The washer somehow got loose and rockets down the stairs until it crashed through the wall on the landing.
My friend stood on the landing, his head hung in shame and defeat, waiting for me to say, “Why didn’t you let me help you?
Of course I said it, but then we got working on the washer, pried it out of the drywall and carried it upstairs with no further incidents. Later on the full story came out of how he had put a chain on the washer and wrapped it around his tiny wife’s shoulder (who is literally about 4’11 and 100 pounds). She pulled from the top while he pushed from the bottom. She lost her grip half way up, he couldn’t hold it, and the rest is history – and would have made a fabulous photo for the “Real Men Hall of Shame”. Sadly, no photo exists.
So, why do guys do that? Why do we refuse to ask for help when we really need it? And worse, why do we refuse help when it is offered, even though we could really use it?
I don’t get it – do you? We listen to my buddy’s story and laugh at how he could have been so stupid, but we all do it. We’ve all done things like that. We all have stories for the “Real Men Hall of Shame.”
My point is this: for whatever reason we as men seem to find it difficult to ask for help when we need it. Whether it’s pride, independence, foolishness, or not wanting to bother anyone – I don’t know. The point is we do it. However, we can choose to not be like that and ask for help.
Don’t we all love it when someone does ask us for help? We love to somehow “come to the rescue” and help out. When we do that it always creates a deeper connection with the friend who chose wisely and asked for assistance.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Most guys appreciate the opportunity to help out and in doing so deepen a relationship with a buddy.
Ask and you will receive. There is no shame in asking for help. However, there is shame, or at least mocking from your friends, in not asking and doing something stupid.
Ask for help. Don’t find yourself in the “Real Men Hall of Shame” – though, sadly, you’ll be in good company there if you do. We all have stories to tell…
Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
Proverbs 15:22
“Plans fail for lack of counsel, bit with many advisers they succeed.”