“I don’t think you understand, nobody says “no” to Mr. Smith.”
And the meeting summarily ended.
The background to this encounter involved a high profile, high-powered televangelist who was invited to take his show on the road to Britain. The two British church leaders hoping to work with him had flown to his headquarters in the US. They were ushered into a private room to await the arrival of the famous preacher. Amidst much posturing and bravado the televangelist entered the room and outlined how he was going to bring his road show to the British people.
At the end of his high energy monologue he finished by stating, “Ok, so that’s how we’ll do it – we’re good to go then.”
His guests responded by saying, in effect, “No, we’re not good to go. It may work in your culture, but it won’t work in ours.”
With that the televangelist left the room. His assistant then indicated that “no” was not a word you said to “Mr. Smith”.
Clearly I have changed the name of the televangelist to protect his identity, but needless to say, pride came before the fall and his ministry suffered a major blow when it was discovered he had repeated, significant moral failures.
It would appear that ‘pride’ was a significant issue he needed to deal with. Anyone who isn’t willing to have someone tell them ‘no’ clearly has an issue with pride.
“I’m right – you’re wrong.” “I know what’s best – you don’t”. That is arrogance. That is being unteachable, uncoachable, unleadable. God resists the proud, and you don’t want to live there.
Humility is the only antidote.
We can humble ourselves, or God has humble us. It certainly is far less painful if we can choose to humble ourselves, but God loves us enough to know that the short term pain of Him humbling us creates long term gain.
My question to you is simply, “Who says “no” to you?”
To whom have you given permission to confront you and tell you that you are off base, off track, or off your rocker? This is an initiative that we need to take. Nobody can force this on us – we must invite people to give us this kind of input. We must choose humility in order to walk this way.
I know that getting the kind of input that cuts across the grain can be very aggravating. It can be like petting a cat backwards – it rubs you the wrong way. Don’t get offended when people point out to you where you may be off-base. Thank God that you have people in your life who love you enough to help you see your error. The input you receive may not be totally accurate or even worthy of implementation, but it is worthy of consideration and submission to the Lord and to your trusted advisors.
I have discovered that it is oftentimes flawed people who give us this kind of input. It’s easy to get angry and write off what they say because of how they may have said it, or the timing of their input. Well you know what? The only kind of people God has to work with are flawed people, so don’t write off what they have to say because it wasn’t done exactly the way you would have wanted it said.
Get over it and take the input to the Lord – “Lord, what do you want to teach me in this?
I am utterly convinced that the prerequisite to freedom, hope, healing, strength, love and the life we are looking for, is humility. Humility unlocks the grace of God and the work of God. One powerful way we can choose humility is to invite people in our life to share truthfully with us. And, be big enough (read ‘humble enough’) to not get offended by someone disagreeing with you, but graciously receive their input – no matter how ungraciously it was given – and take it to the Lord for His perspective.
Thank God for friends who are willing to speak the truth to you. Friendship without truth really isn’t ‘friendship’, it’s ‘bullship’.
It is a wise man who chooses humility and invites others to say “no” to him.
Proverbs 18:12
“Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor.”
Isaiah 66:2b
“These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word.”
Proverbs 19:20
“Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.”