Have you ever asked yourself that question: “What is a man?” It’s a big question. It’s also a question we don’t ask very often. And, perhaps in light of that, we find it difficult to answer.
If we are going to be good men, we need to be able to answer this question for ourselves. And clearly, if we’re going to raise sons to be good men it’s important that we have an answer to this question. Entire books have been written to answer this question, but I think we also need a simple definition we can remind ourselves of every day.
Many years ago when working through what I wanted to teach my sons about what it means to be a man, I put together a definition of a man. The definition I came up with was the result of input from many different sources, and included my person beliefs about what it means to be a man.
I would like to share this definition with you, but we need to have a little understanding first. Firstly, this is my definition and it does not need to be yours. Perhaps it will get your thinking about what you believe about masculinity and can act as a catalyst for your own definition. Great. My hope is that sharing this will help you chew through the issue.
Secondly, I hope this does help you to “chew” through the question. This is something you need to own for yourself. It has to go to your core. You need to spend time digging deeply into this. Read, study, listen, discuss, and mull it over until you develop conviction in regard to your definition.
So are we agreed? This is not the definition to end all definitions of manhood – it’s merely what I came up with. And, you will use this as a catalyst to develop your own definition. Yes?
Ok, here we go…
It’s an acronym: T.R.A.P.S.S. Life has many ‘TRAPSS’ that can captivate and hinder men from apprehending all that for which Jesus has apprehended us. This list is an action plan to enable you to avoid these traps and to be the man you have been created, crafted and called to be.
You were born a male, but you must choose to be a man – choose well!
Real men…
T – Take courage & initiative.
“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love.” I Corinthians 16:13, 14
R – Resist passivity.
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7
A – Accept responsibility.
“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’” Matthew 25:21
P – Press on toward the goal of God’s Kingdom in them and through them.
“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14
S – Seek and love God with their heart, mind, soul and strength.
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’” Matthew 22:37
S – Serve and love others with their time, talent and treasure.
“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” I Peter 4:10
“And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:39
There is a lot of character represented in those 6 axioms: initiative, courage, responsibility, perseverance, hard work, dedication, commitment, conviction, fortitude, strength, love, service, sacrifice, worship, humility, passion, purpose and much more.
So what is a man? Someone who takes courage and initiative; resists passivity; accepts responsibility; presses on toward God’s Kingdom in him and through him; seeks and loves God; and who serves and loves others.
Real men determine to demonstrate these traits. Because manhood is best demonstrated, not merely deliberated.