He sat there on the flight staring out the window, still fuming from the fight he had with his wife. His body position shouted “keep away” to those who sat next to or near him. He didn’t want to have to speak with anyone – he wanted to be alone. The dark cloud that surrounded him was almost palpable to those with any degree of awareness.
He had just had the worst fight ever with his wife. This was his second marriage and it didn’t seem to be starting off very well. He hadn’t dealt with the issues that led to his first divorce. In fact, he really hadn’t dealt with many of his issues.
He had a well-developed fight and flight mechanism. When things got rough he would first fight, then he would run away. On this occasion he was running to Chicago to go golfing. He had the financial means, so when he wanted to run away, he went far away.
When the meal was served he had to swivel around to face forward and the woman beside him attempted to engage him in some conversation. He, reluctantly, participated. She could sense the darkness in his soul and, being the perceptive person she was, began to chip away at his hardened exterior to get to a softer inner core. He participated for a while, but then shut her down to put an end to the soul excavation.
She caught his attention with a final simple question. She had already demonstrated credibility and accomplishment on a few fronts, so she had earned the right to ask him this one final question:
“Would you be interested in knowing one word that would lead you to a healthier, happier, and potentially wealthier life?”
He thought for a moment and said, “Sure.”
She then slowly and deliberately, with a dash of the dramatic, pulled out a small piece of paper. In very small letters she wrote the word on the paper and then folded it up into a tight little bundle. She handed him the bundle.
The man next to her said he wanted to know the word as well. And the man sitting behind them came around to their row, apologized for eavesdropping, and said he wanted to know the word too.
The troubled man unfolded the paper and read the word. It landed on him like a ton of bricks. He slowly passed the paper to the man at the end of his row. He unfolded it and read the word with a deep sigh of acknowledgment. He then passed it to the man from the row behind them, who responded similarly.
Would you like to know the word? Of course you would.
Forgiveness.
Yes, forgiveness. There is great power in forgiveness. Conversely, there is great power in refusing to forgive.
It has been said that refusing to forgive someone is akin to holding them captive in your soul – they will always have a hold on you. In addition, not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and hoping it kills them. Sadly, it really kills the person who hasn’t forgiven.
We have been called to forgive others as we have been forgiven. Scripture also tells us that if we do not forgive another’s sin against us God will not forgive our sins. Forgiveness is the very essence of the Christian message. Through Christ we have been forgiven and brought into right relationship as God’s children.
If we have been forgiven by God through Christ, how can we then not forgive those who sin against us? How many times must we forgive? Seventy times seven Jesus said. In other words, way more than you think. This is a lifestyle to which we have been called – forgive as we have been forgiven. That doesn’t mean that we don’t have to draw parameters and put in place ramifications for those who “sin against us”, but we must always choose to forgive.
It is our choice to forgive or not to forgive. We even need to choose to forgive ourselves.
So, who do you need to forgive so you can be forgiven?
Matthew 6:14-15
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Colossians 3:13
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
I John 1:9
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”