We hear a lot now-a-days about how men need to “man up”. What exactly does that mean though?
I am not totally sure. What I do know is that we are born male, but we have to choose to be men. With that sentiment I very much agree. Men need to choose to be men.
Sadly our culture is filled with Peter Pans – men who refuse to grow up. It’s been said that boys will be boys and so will middle-aged men. I believe one of the curses of our society is men who are unwilling to be men. Men who are unwilling to take courage and initiative; resist passivity; accept responsibility; press on toward a goal; seek and love God and serve and love others.
Our world is crying out for men who choose to be men of character: men who understand they are meant to be spent for the benefit of others. Our world is hungry for men who are willing to make sacrifices for the greater good in both the grand and the bland: in the extraordinary and the ordinary. Our world is in need of men who truly are choosing to “man up”!
To “man up” is inherently sacrificial. Men spend themselves for the benefit of others; adult ‘boys’ spend others for their own benefit.
A number of years ago I was at a men’s conference in the mountains of Colorado. At the close of one of the sessions we were encouraged to ask the Lord what He was saying to us about how He sees us: “Father, who do you say I am?”
I felt the Lord say to me:
“You are David. I have given you a kingly spirit. I have made you to be a ruler…you are my beloved warrior king…”
I was overwhelmed. And, to be quite frank, I wanted to run from it. I didn’t want to be a ruler. I didn’t want to be a ‘king’. I did not want the responsibility. Deep inside I still wanted to be a boy. I did not want the burden of leadership, of being a ‘man’.
The Lord was gracious with me and began to lead me through His school of manhood and leadership, in the midst of everyday life. It was not easy. It was not fun. Oftentimes it (He) demanded more of me than I believed I was capable of. I wanted to run away so many times. I wanted to escape to a little log cabin in the woods and shut out the world.
However, to do so would be disobedience. To run from my God-given responsibilities would be sin.
Fast forward a few years…I was mountain biking and stopped to spend some time with my Father on a big boulder overlooking the valley. I sheepishly asked God if I could call Him “Dad”. I knew the answer already because we are encouraged in Romans 8 to call Him “Abba” or “Daddy”. However, the reality of that intimacy was still a little foreign to me.
His response broke open my heart:
“May I call you ‘Davie’? You are my beloved son. ‘Davie’ is my term of endearment for you.”
I wasn’t expecting that! To be honest, I just began to cry…
I was a little perplexed however: I thought I was supposed to be a Warrior King, but now I am a Beloved Son. “Davie” is a little boy’s name. Am I a Warrior King or a Beloved Son? Yes. Both/and, not either/or.
We cannot truly “man up” without being a beloved son. We must “boy up” in order to “man up”. The only way we can truly be the men God has created, crafted and called us to be is by first understanding we are His beloved sons in whom He delights.
Real men are also child-like.
Yes, we need to accept responsibility and resist passivity. Yes, we need to take courage and initiative. We need to press on toward goals. We need to seek and love God. And, we need to love and serve others.
However, first and foremost we need to know we are a beloved son of our Heavenly Father.
To “boy up” enables us to “man up”.
1 Corinthians 13:11
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”
Galatians 4:6
“Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father.’”
2 Corinthians 6:18
“And, ‘I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.’”
Matthew 18:3
“And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’”