A good, firm handshake was very important to my father.
“You have to look a man in the eye, grip his hand, and give it a firm shake. Give him a taste of your character.”
He came from a generation where a man would be judged by his handshake. A firm handshake with good eye contact, according to my father, said a lot about a man. It said he was confident, secure, strong, assertive and bold.
In light of this, I was taught how to shake hands. I was taught that shaking hands with a woman was different than shaking hands with a man. A handshake with a woman was supposed to be gently and kinder, though not weak. Your objective with a woman was not to assert dominance, but to communicate care and connection.
However, the objective when shaking the hand of another man was to let him know you weren’t a pushover. You had to give him a little sense of your strength – of character and physical strength. But don’t try to crush his hand. If you do this you’ll come across as someone trying too hard. No, a simple, casual, strong, intentional grip with a little shake and 3 seconds of eye contact gets the message across.
I was taught to despise a weak handshake. You know the kind, when a man’s handshake is like shaking a dead fish. It’s limp and devoid of life.
“Seriously, is that the best you can do?”
I wonder if this philosophy of handshakes is where the phrase, “Get a grip!” comes from.
I’m sure you’ve heard someone say to you at some point in time, “Get a grip.” It typically means that you need to get your facts straight, or calm down and “get a hold of yourself”. Basically it can mean 2 things: get your emotions under control, or to understand how to deal with something.
We can get a grip on things, and things can get a grip on us.
We can be gripped by fear, or anxiety, or jealousy, or greed, or lust, or any manner of negative emotions and influences. Or, we can be gripped by any number of positive emotions and influences: in the grip of grace, gripped by compassion, or love, or righteous indignation, or conviction, or the like.
I believe what we get a grip on determines what gets a grip on us.
I was visiting a church in Ottawa recently. This is their mission:
“To make disciples of Jesus, gripped by the Gospel, living for God’s glory.”
That particular phrase, “Gripped by the Gospel” leapt out at me…
Hmmm, what am I gripped by? What do I have a grip on?
The only way we can be gripped by the Gospel is if we have a grip on the Gospel. We need to have a grip on Jesus and His Word if we are to have any hope of having the Gospel get a grip on us.
So what do you have a grip on? Do you have a grip on the things of this world? Do you have a grip on self-preservation? Do you have a grip on yourself and your own self-interests and desires?
What we have a grip on has a grip on us.
Are you willing to let go of everything except Jesus and His “Gospel” – His Good News, His Truth? Or are there things you want to hold onto, things you’re unwilling to surrender to God? Whatever we hold onto has a hold on us.
Let’s get a grip on Jesus.
But may that grip not be like a handshake. No, the kind of grip I think we need on Jesus is more like that of someone who is falling over a cliff and in a desperate, wholehearted, last ditch attempt to avoid falling to our death, we have reached out and gripped the hand of someone of the strength and stature to not only stop us from falling, but who can also pull us up to safety.
Let’s grip Jesus and His Word like our life depended upon it. Because in reality, it does.
When we grip Him, He grips us.
Get a grip!
Philippians 3:12
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.”
2 Thessalonians 2:15 (The Message)
“So, friends, take a firm stand, feet on the ground and head high. Keep a tight grip on what you were taught, whether in personal conversation or by our letter.”
1 Timothy 1:19 (The Message)
“There are some, you know, who by relaxing their grip and thinking anything goes have made a thorough mess of their faith.”
Hebrews 10:23 (The Message)
“Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word.”