November 11, 2009
Do you ever wakeup in the morning with a knot in your stomach? A deep-seated sense of impending doom? A weight that rests on your chest causing you to feel hopeless and overwhelmed? That deep down dread that makes you want to stay in bed and hope that all the things stressing you out will wonderfully disappear and you will finally live in a state of peaceful bliss where you wake up with an incredible sense of hope and joy?
Well, if this is something that you haven’t experienced then I am very glad for you, and slightly jealous, because I can know this feeling all too well. In fact, this past year has been particularly difficult. These feelings have seemed to be my constant bedfellows. Every morning has been a battle just to get up and get focused for the day. Over the course of the last few months I have been struggling to make some very difficult decisions in regard to our business, in order to follow the Lord where I believe He is leading me. This was all coming to an overwhelming head a couple of weeks ago – some difficult decisions with significant ramifications needed to be made. I lived with a daily sense of dread that I wasn’t sure I could take anymore.
One Saturday morning I drove up a mountain nearby our home to pray and connect with the Lord – to somehow get hold of His heart and His wisdom. I read James 1 where James is talking about counting it all joy when we encounter various trials. He goes on to say that if we lack wisdom we should ask and the Lord will provide what we need. He then says that when we ask we need to believe and not doubt and, here’s the kicker, that if we doubt we shouldn’t think we will receive anything from the Lord. This was where the Lord used His spiritual “highlighter” to show me something. He rebuked me for doubting. He began to show me that I was choosing fear over faith. I was choosing to give in to the fear and believe that I couldn’t trust God – that I couldn’t trust God to lead, guide, love and provide. I wasn’t choosing faith. I wasn’t choosing to believe that God is who He says He is and, therefore, I can trust Him to lead, guide, love and provide.
I repented for my lack of faith, for choosing fear, and began to choose to believe the Truth of who God says He is in spite of my circumstances. I realize that on a daily basis I can choose fear, or I can choose faith. Choosing fear is simply giving into the lie of the enemy that is as old as Eden itself – that God can’t be trusted. I have now been choosing to believe that God is who He says He is and, therefore, I can trust Him. My heart has shifted and the deep down daily dread is gone. My circumstances are still difficult, but God is bigger than my circumstances.
We don’t need to submit to fear. We can choose faith over fear. God is who He says He is – He can be trusted.
James 1:6-8
“But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”
Strength and courage,
David