October 28, 2009
Recently I was asked by a couple of pastors on Vancouver Island to speak to a gathering of men. The topic they asked me to speak on was “The power of masculine friendships.”. The topic kind of threw me. It didn’t seem to fit into my usual topics for men – though it really intrigued me. It got me thinking about friendships between guys, and why, for the most part, men struggle with creating deep, meaningful relationships.
Do we not want them? No, I believe we do. Do we not think we need them? No again, I think we would all say that we need them. So why don’t we have deep, meaningful relationships with other guys? I believe that the Lord helped me to see 3 key reasons why we don’t. However, I am going to focus on just one in this visional. We have believed one of two lies: I don’t need you, or you don’t need me.
You see, the enemy is terrified of who we are together – he heard Jesus’ prayer, “That they may be one.” One unit. One team. So, implementing a strategy of wounding, lying and agreements he comes after us as men uniquely. Think back to your boyhood and I’ll bet dollars to donuts that you were wounded by someone significant and the lie that the enemy planted into your heart was, “You don’t need them anyway.” Or, “See, they don’t want you around. You have nothing to contribute. They don’t need you.”
The sad thing is, is that we bought into one of these lies – hook, line and sinker. I bought into “I don’t need you.” So, even though I wanted and needed deep meaningful relationships with other guys I didn’t have them. Why? Because I had made an agreement with a lie from the enemy. Until the Lord showed me the wound, the lie of the enemy and my agreement – and I broke my agreement and received the Lord’s healing – deep, meaningful relationships with other guys were very few and far between.
I was talking to a man after I shared this message once. He was very emotional as he shared an experience he had as a boy with his family on a holiday. He was exploring a cave or something, and when he came out, his family was gone, they had left – they had forgotten about him. They came back, but the lie that went straight to his heart was, “See, nobody really cares about you. They don’t really want you around. They don’t need you.” He made an agreement with that and has believed ever since that nobody really needs him, that nobody really wants him around.
Ask the Lord to show you the lie you believed, then break the agreement you made with the enemy and receive the Lord’s healing and truth.
John 8:44
“…When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
Strength and courage,
David