Man or God – Who Do I Love?
Who do you turn to for validation – man or God? Who do you look to for affirmation and encouragement – man or God? Who do you draw your life and strength from – man or God? Who do you fear more – man or God?
We all have a choice in regard to where we go for life. Will we go to God for life, or the things of this world? What holds greater sway in our life – the fear of God, or the fear of man? Is Jesus enough for us, or do we need what this world has to offer?
Many years ago the Lord took me on a journey into increasing dependence on Him. He helped me to see how much I drew life from other people and the things of this world. He opened my eyes to see that I was more concerned about what people thought and said about me than what the Lord thought and said about me.
I began to realize the fear of man was greater in me than the fear of God. I sought the approval of men more than the approval of God.
In the midst of this journey I wrote a song:
“Man or God, who do I love?
Praises from men or my Father above?
Vanity will it be my delight?
Can God’s love be my song in the night?
Man or God, who is my hope?
Who is my anchor, my pillar, my rope?
Looking forward what can I see?
Simply today or all eternity?
Man or God, who will I serve?
Which way will I walk and from it not swerve?
Follow the wide or the narrow way?
Will I choose life or death this day?
Man or God, who is my trust?
In worldly treasures that decay and rust?
Will I dwell near the waters or life?
Or in a dry land of sorrow and strife?
Man or God, where is my life?
Sometimes this world can cut like a knife.
Who will heal and care for my wounds?
Man or the power that emptied the tomb?
Man or God, where will I turn?
For love and freedom I desperately yearn.
Fill the void, let the rains fall.
Quench my thirst, quench it all.
God or man, spirit or soul?
To whom will I yield my control?
Keep my life, or count it as loss?
Will I chose life through death at the cross?
I choose God my Father, my Friend
My all in all, my beginning and end
In you God and in You alone
I put my hope and I now bow at your throne
Love everlasting, mercy and grace
Help this weak man to seek your face
Sometimes I falter I doubt and I fear
Please my Father won’t You draw me near”
We have a choice to make: will we go to the spring of living water for life, or try to dig our own wells to find life outside of God? If you find yourself in the midst of a difficult situation considering walking away from the Lord, it means that you still think you can find life apart from God.
I love Peter’s answer when Jesus asked him and the other disciples if they were going to leave:
“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:68)
Peter knew he had no other option but Jesus. It was Jesus or nothing, so Peter was all in.
So, are you considering your options, or are you all in? There is no life apart from Jesus – He is The Life. Jesus came that we might have life and have it abundantly, but we often try to find life apart from Him.
Man or God – where do you go? We must choose to find our life in Christ; to reject the seduction of life apart from Him. We are made to be grafted into Christ and draw our life from Him. Apart from Him we wither and die.
Like Keith Green said, “He is Divine and we are de branch.”
We are made for life in Christ. We’re made to be all in!
Jeremiah 2:13
“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”
John 15:5
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
John 2:24
“But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people.”
John 14:6
“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
Man Up and Boy Up!
We hear a lot now-a-days about how men need to “man up”. What exactly does that mean though?
I am not totally sure. What I do know is that we are born male, but we have to choose to be men. With that sentiment I very much agree. Men need to choose to be men.
Sadly our culture is filled with Peter Pans – men who refuse to grow up. It’s been said that boys will be boys and so will middle-aged men. I believe one of the curses of our society is men who are unwilling to be men. Men who are unwilling to take courage and initiative; resist passivity; accept responsibility; press on toward a goal; seek and love God and serve and love others.
Our world is crying out for men who choose to be men of character: men who understand they are meant to be spent for the benefit of others. Our world is hungry for men who are willing to make sacrifices for the greater good in both the grand and the bland: in the extraordinary and the ordinary. Our world is in need of men who truly are choosing to “man up”!
To “man up” is inherently sacrificial. Men spend themselves for the benefit of others; adult ‘boys’ spend others for their own benefit.
A number of years ago I was at a men’s conference in the mountains of Colorado. At the close of one of the sessions we were encouraged to ask the Lord what He was saying to us about how He sees us: “Father, who do you say I am?”
I felt the Lord say to me:
“You are David. I have given you a kingly spirit. I have made you to be a ruler…you are my beloved warrior king…”
I was overwhelmed. And, to be quite frank, I wanted to run from it. I didn’t want to be a ruler. I didn’t want to be a ‘king’. I did not want the responsibility. Deep inside I still wanted to be a boy. I did not want the burden of leadership, of being a ‘man’.
The Lord was gracious with me and began to lead me through His school of manhood and leadership, in the midst of everyday life. It was not easy. It was not fun. Oftentimes it (He) demanded more of me than I believed I was capable of. I wanted to run away so many times. I wanted to escape to a little log cabin in the woods and shut out the world.
However, to do so would be disobedience. To run from my God-given responsibilities would be sin.
Fast forward a few years…I was mountain biking and stopped to spend some time with my Father on a big boulder overlooking the valley. I sheepishly asked God if I could call Him “Dad”. I knew the answer already because we are encouraged in Romans 8 to call Him “Abba” or “Daddy”. However, the reality of that intimacy was still a little foreign to me.
His response broke open my heart:
“May I call you ‘Davie’? You are my beloved son. ‘Davie’ is my term of endearment for you.”
I wasn’t expecting that! To be honest, I just began to cry…
I was a little perplexed however: I thought I was supposed to be a Warrior King, but now I am a Beloved Son. “Davie” is a little boy’s name. Am I a Warrior King or a Beloved Son? Yes. Both/and, not either/or.
We cannot truly “man up” without being a beloved son. We must “boy up” in order to “man up”. The only way we can truly be the men God has created, crafted and called us to be is by first understanding we are His beloved sons in whom He delights.
Real men are also child-like.
Yes, we need to accept responsibility and resist passivity. Yes, we need to take courage and initiative. We need to press on toward goals. We need to seek and love God. And, we need to love and serve others.
However, first and foremost we need to know we are a beloved son of our Heavenly Father.
To “boy up” enables us to “man up”.
1 Corinthians 13:11
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”
Galatians 4:6
“Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father.’”
2 Corinthians 6:18
“And, ‘I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.’”
Matthew 18:3
“And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’”
How Do We Grow?
How do we grow? That’s the million dollar question. In fact, it’s probably the billion dollar question.
By ‘growth’ I don’t mean physically – I mean spiritually. How do we grow in our faith? How do we grow in Truth? How do we grow in character? How do we grow in our relationship with Jesus?
Basically, how do we become better men?
That’s a big nut to crack. Through our work with Wholehearted Men I have the pleasure of working with hundreds of men who want to become better men – who want to grow. And we see huge growth in many men. However, in others there is not so much growth.
So why do some men seem to grow, and others do not?
I don’t know exactly, but I do know that Jesus told us there are 3 criteria for growth:
“But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.”
In Luke 8:5-15 Jesus talks about the parable of the sower and the seed. He concludes the parable with that statement about those who produce fruit; the soil in whom the seed grew up into a good crop; the ones who grew in their faith. He outlined the 3 criteria for growth:
- Hear
- Retain
- Persevere
We see this whenever we hold a Wholehearted Men’s conference or boot camp. Everyone in the room has the opportunity to “hear” the Word of God – the Truth. Some truly do hear it. They choose to open their hearts. They choose to humble themselves. They choose to give God permission to work in them. They put aside the distractions of life. They choose to unplug from the matrix and actively listen – expecting to learn.
And subsequently they ‘hear’ the word.
Sadly, others do not unplug. Others do not resist distractions. Others do not embrace humility and grace, get offended by something and end up not hearing the Word of God.
Those who ‘hear’ the Word now have the opportunity to ‘retain’ it. Retaining the Word does not come passively. To retain the Word requires intention and action. Retaining the Word requires remembering it, talking about it, thinking about it, discussing it, studying it and wrestling with it. It’s training in Godliness.
We retain more when we take notes. But the majority of retention takes place after the hearing of the Word. Sure, retention begins during the hearing, but all the heavy lifting is after we have heard the Word.
The current set against us is forgetfulness, so we must intentionally swim upstream against forgetfulness in order to retain the Word. We must spend time in study and prayer asking the Lord to further unfold His Truth to us. We must discuss the Word with others, perhaps at breakfast groups we initiate, or in small groups. We must meditate on it as we drive, as we walk, as we wait. We must remember it and own it.
We must put it into practice.
We then must ‘persevere’ in the Word. This is hard work because it involves further hearing and retention, but it is primarily about action. It’s about obedience. It’s about surrender and submission. It’s about repenting. It’s about making things right when we mess up and continuing to move forward. It’s about doing good, because faith without deeds is useless.
It’s about not giving up when the going gets tough. It’s about not backing down when we feel overwhelmed. It’s about choosing not to get angry and offended when the Lord cuts across our will – perhaps through someone who rubs us the wrong way. It’s about dying to ourselves so we can live in Christ. Not my will, but yours be done Lord.
This is really about “continuing to work out your salvation with fear and trembling” knowing that it’s “God at work in you to make you both willing and able to work according to His good purpose”. (Philippians 2:12, 13)
The result? Righteous, peace and joy in Jesus; a truly successful life in Christ; becoming the kind of man you want to be – and that God has created, crafted and called you to be.
Hear, retain, and persevere: 3 criteria for great growth in God.
2 Peter 1:5-8
“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
1 Timothy 4:7b, 8
“…train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.”
James 1:2-4
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
No Pain, No Gain
Have you ever heard the expression, “No pain, no gain.”?
It’s a classic exercise axiom used to express the idea that real physical gains do not come without some degree of pain. It really rose to prominence in the public psyche in 1982 with the popularity of Jane Fonda’s aerobics videos. Viewers were reminded that there is no gain without some pain.
I remember in university an exercise physiology prof telling us that good workouts create discomfort, but should not be causing pain. If your exercise is causing pain then you are probably doing more damage than good.
One of our friends during house group one evening brought up a commonly held Christian axiom that got me thinking about Jane Fonda’s sage exercise advice,
“God will never give you what you can’t handle.”
My friend said, in so many words, that she thought this Christian axiom was a lot of bunk. I agree with her.
The truth is that God often gives us what we can’t handle. Or, perhaps more accurately, He gives us what we think we cannot handle. He does this to strengthen us: to push us outside our comfort zone into the realm of uncertainly in regard to our ability to ‘control’ circumstances.
Back to the physiology of exercise: a critical principal of muscle growth is the “overload principle”. In order for a muscle to grow it must be overloaded beyond what it can currently comfortably handle. In fact, according to the University of New Mexico,
“When muscles undergo intense exercise, as from a resistance training bout, there is trauma to the muscle fibers that is referred to as muscle injury or damage in scientific investigations. This disruption to muscle cell organelles activates satellite cells…to proliferate to the injury site. In essence, a biological effort to repair or replace damaged muscle fibers begins with the satellite cells fusing together and to the muscles fibers, often leading to increases in muscle fiber cross-sectional area or hypertrophy. The satellite cells…fuse to muscle fibers to form new muscle protein stands and/or repair damaged fibers. Thus, the muscle cells’ myofibrils will increase in thickness and number.”
In other words, muscle growth does not occur without “trauma” to the muscle fibres. In essence, no pain, no gain.
I believe it is the same for our spiritual growth.
The Lord often stretches us beyond what we think we can handle in order to shift us out of our own strength into His. Don’t you want to live life with a strength beyond what you are naturally capable of? The only way you can do that is to surrender to the Lord’s gym for the Coach to push you outside your comfort zone and into the faith zone.
Is it comfortable? Nope. Do we usually wish we would not have to go through the process of refinement? Absolutely.
Yet those strengthened in the crucible of God could not become who they are by any other means. For precious metals to be refined there needs to be intense heat. For diamonds to be formed there needs to be intense pressure. For muscles to grow there needs to be trauma. For Godly men to be created there needs to be heat, pressure and trauma – there is no other way.
What feels ‘traumatic’ in your life could very well be the training of God refining you into the man He has created, crafted and called you to be.
“God will not give you what you can’t handle” is not accurate.
A truer axiom is, “The will of God will not take you where the grace of God cannot keep you.”
No matter how difficult your situation is, the grace of God is sufficient for you. And, humility releases the grace of God. Call out for grace amidst the “trauma” in order to embrace the growth the Lord has for you. Humble yourself and surrender to the Coach’s training in order to receive the Coach’s strength.
The process from which you are begging God to deliver you may be the very process He has ordained to refine and strengthen you.
Oftentimes there is no gain without some pain, though we wish it weren’t so.
Hebrews 12:11
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
Romans 5:4
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
1 Peter 1:6, 7
“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”